My First Steven King Book

I finally decided to try out a Steven King book and BOY was I underwhelmed. The cover looks so cool right? Well this book is REEEEEEALLY long. The JFK assassination stuff is interesting, and the sci-fi nature of the plot kept me interested enough to want to see how it ended, but for a good 40% of this book I felt like I was tricked into reading a really sappy romance novel. In fact, I'm not convinced that SK didn't write a cool book about going back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination and think "Fetcher, this book needs to be 700 pages longer" so he cut the cover off of a novel he found at the grocery store and glued it into the middle of his transcript.

Rating: skip it.

Maybe I'll try one of SK's classics next time. 

Amazing Spiderman

Most irrelevant and tardy movie review ever. I think this Spider-man franchise will be the Bourne Identity of superhero movies. Don't ask me why I think that. I'm just tired of writing reviews and typing whatever comes to my mind stream of conscious style. I like Cheese Nips better than Cheese-Its because, even though they don't look as delicious as their competitors, they lack the gross aftertaste. 

Madea's Witness Protection

If you really want to live, watch this movie in a theater full of people who really APPRECIATE Tyler Perry (aka white Mormons)...

I watched this movie, in the theater, in Salt Lake City, UT, and everyone in the theater left happy that they came. What made the movie was a small but vocal row of African American film enthusiasts who could NOT stop laughing. It was infectious. Seriously, if anyone wants a great time at the movies, go to a predominantly black neighborhood screening of this movie.

P.S. I'm not making any kind of racial statement here. I really love these movies because they are a window into a totally new culture in America. One that is often ignored. The 6'6" black man dressing up like a 70 yr-old woman culture. That culture is pretty dope.

Hardcore Pawn

A little over a year ago I got into the show Pawn Stars on the History Channel. I even went so far as to break down their negotiation tactics into 5 easy steps (blog post on that maybe to come in the future).

This show has caught my attention recently. Pawn Stars is a show about old items being pawned. Hardcore Pawn is a show about weird people who pawn stuff. If you want to learn about antiques watch Pawn Stars. If you want to watch a ghetto gangster wannabe get shoved out of a store or a hysterical wailing baby mamma scream about how she has to have $800 for her PS3 to get her man out of jail...this is your show.

Rating: I watch it when I'm really bored or home for lunch.

Breaking Bad

Best show ever? Probably.

A great reminder that we are all just one cancer diagnosis and meth lab away from becoming an evil drug lord.

Hell on Wheels

I tried SO HARD to like this show. And I can't. Watched season 1 and half of season 2 and I'm done.

Rating: it-makes-me-feel-weird-inside-like-when-I-eat-too-much-cheese-and-I'm-all-blahhhhhh

What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast

This is an entire book (albeit a short one) that can be summed up in three words:

WAKE UP EARLY

Seriously...

That's it...

I'm not joking...

Ok, wake up early and do the most important things you need done that day before everyone else (unsuccessful losers) wakes up.

There, just saved you having to read a book.

Brave

If I ever have a red-headed step child I will buy this movie for them to watch. Otherwise I will leave this one to the daughters who have mommy-issues to love.

Rating: watchable, maybe should have waited for the dollar-movie

Moonrise Kingdom

I rate this movie "pay-full-price-able-even-if-you're-in-NYC-and-full-price-is-$20"

Mad Men

This show gets away with a lot because of the cool retro setting.

The read debate for me is whether the show is better than Breaking Bad or not. I feel much less stress watching MM, which makes it more "enjoyable" but how can I put this show above BB when I am excited/nervous/scared/anxious to watch Walt implode week by week.

Dark Knight Rises

In one sentence: Second best movie in the series.

Everyone who would read this has already seen this movie.

Can I just say I never really liked Bane's voice?

Keds and Socks

If I were King of the world this would earn you 3 weeks in jail or a $1000 fine.

Small Town Security

This show FASCINATED me for the first 3 episodes. You CANNOT write this ish. But by the end of season 1 I was more just grossed out.

Rating: I'll probably tivo season 2 but won't watch them all.

Favorite moment: The whole series justified itself being made in one scene involving the lovable old Captain and his poo-stick.

And the winner for BEST FAST FOOD BREAKFAST is...

Subway has the best breakfast sandwiches. (read the period at the end of the sentence as "PERIOD")

Only complaint is you have to get out of your car. Also they don't have hashbrowns. Also there's no syrup in the bun.

Ok, McGriddle, you still win.

For now.

If you love dogs...

This review is for the book pictured above. I liked the book, mostly because I am a dog owner/superfan. If you don't like, actually, if you don't LOVE dogs you probably shouldn't spend the time on this book.

It starts out sounding like a 5 yr-old talking for the first 30 pages which is pretty annoying but you get used to it and by the end of the book you will love dogs all the more.

Pretty sure this book is the inspiration for Sarah McLachlan's dog adoption commercial.

OFFICIAL RATING: Borrow it from a friend, and only if you're REALLY into dogs.

What are your BAD HABITS?

The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg. If you're trying to change habits I highly recommend this book. Duhigg is a bright guy, reporter for the NYT, who decided to write an in-depth book about habits, what cause them, and how to change them. He uses a lot of behavioral economics research that anyone who reads these types of books will recognize.

He writes a particularly interesting chapter on the history of Alcoholics Anonymous. This book is kind of like a diet/business/self improvement book wrapped into one, but interesting enough that I would recommend it to anyone interested in this sort of thing.

My rating: Buy it on sale or borrow it from a friend.

Snow White and Thor!

I don't know if anyone will ever not call the guy who played the Huntsman in this movie anything but "Thor" I don't know his name, and I don't have to because he IS Thor. Forever. I think it even had "Thor" in the credits as playing the "Huntsman".

This movie made the biggest casting mistake of the decade. Kristen Stewart is not Snow White. Sorry movie making company. I can't wait for them to come out with a Beauty and the Beast where Belle (played by some gimmick like Rhianna) ends up in a suit of armor, fighting a battle to save the poor, weak, MALE, beast from danger. FEMINISM ROCKS!

I thought the first hour of this movie was watchable but then I got REAL bored.

Also, I hate it when the director has the character hide from the monster, silent for 8-10 seconds, then BOO! the monster grabs the character cause he FOUND HER!!!! There were about 5 scenes like that in this movie.

Rating: wait-for-it-to-come-out-on-netflix

Hurry up new Batman movie. We need you. Bad.

MIB3 and Me

When the first Men in Black movie came out I was in 10th grade. I loved it then, and I liked it a lot now. This movie is entertaining and not too long. I enjoyed it all the way through. Didn't see it in 3D, not sure why people do that.

Aside: Hey movie theaters, can we get some IMAX non-3D movie action please. I want to see my two-dimensional movies on a giant screen too. I feel like this is breaking some kind of consumer rights law.

I can't stop thinking about old Agent O's hair (played by old what's-her-face from Stranger Than Fiction) it was pretty dope.

Will Smith's song at the end of the movie was not up to "Men in Black" or "Jiggy wit It" standards, but it was faintly nostalgic to hear Will Smith rapping again.

I'm giving this movie a rating of: I-would-pay-$12-to-see-this-movie

BOOM

Reading Malcom Gladwell does NOT mean you're smart

Malcom Gladwell has been fueling facts for party-and-dinner-gathering-annoying-know-it-alls (PADIGAKIAs) to loudly share as if they are the only ones in the room who read for over a decade now.

I was all ABOUT the Malcom Gladwell bandwagon back in 2003 when I first read Tipping Point. And yes, I thought I was the SHIZ for knowing a little about social research and a little about marketing. When I read Blink, I started to feel like I was told about something cool in 50 pages then spent the next 100 pages hearing that principle repeated over and over.

WTDS (acronyms are dope ((aad)) is at least different from his other books in that there isn't a single defining principle he's HAMMERING into your head over and over. This book should probably be called "My Favorite New Yorker Articles With A Little Bit Added At The End"

Dopeness Rating: 87%

Acronym Rating: OK

Steve Jobs: RE VIEEEEEWWW

STEVE JOBS: reeeeviewed

This was my first try at listening to a book from audio.com. Audio books have some downsides but I spend a lot of time walking my dog and driving a car and audio books are perfect for both of those occasions so it works.

This book was 90% dope.

Pros: Reading the book made me respect Steve Jobs, it made me hate Steve Jobs, and it made me admire Steve Jobs. It also made me only want Apple products forever. I was never an Apple fan, until I bought a MacBook Pro. This book sealed the deal. I also loved hearing the back story to technology developments I can remember like the iPod coming out and the release of the iPhone.

Cons: Too many people. Who cares about Apple when Steve Jobs wasn't there? They sucked. There I said it in two words. Didn't need 200 pages...

Apple 4 Eva.

P.S. This book is very looooooong and with more names than the bible to keep track of I recommend just listening to it.