My First Steven King Book

I finally decided to try out a Steven King book and BOY was I underwhelmed. The cover looks so cool right? Well this book is REEEEEEALLY long. The JFK assassination stuff is interesting, and the sci-fi nature of the plot kept me interested enough to want to see how it ended, but for a good 40% of this book I felt like I was tricked into reading a really sappy romance novel. In fact, I'm not convinced that SK didn't write a cool book about going back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination and think "Fetcher, this book needs to be 700 pages longer" so he cut the cover off of a novel he found at the grocery store and glued it into the middle of his transcript.

Rating: skip it.

Maybe I'll try one of SK's classics next time. 

Amazing Spiderman

Most irrelevant and tardy movie review ever. I think this Spider-man franchise will be the Bourne Identity of superhero movies. Don't ask me why I think that. I'm just tired of writing reviews and typing whatever comes to my mind stream of conscious style. I like Cheese Nips better than Cheese-Its because, even though they don't look as delicious as their competitors, they lack the gross aftertaste. 

Madea's Witness Protection

If you really want to live, watch this movie in a theater full of people who really APPRECIATE Tyler Perry (aka white Mormons)...

I watched this movie, in the theater, in Salt Lake City, UT, and everyone in the theater left happy that they came. What made the movie was a small but vocal row of African American film enthusiasts who could NOT stop laughing. It was infectious. Seriously, if anyone wants a great time at the movies, go to a predominantly black neighborhood screening of this movie.

P.S. I'm not making any kind of racial statement here. I really love these movies because they are a window into a totally new culture in America. One that is often ignored. The 6'6" black man dressing up like a 70 yr-old woman culture. That culture is pretty dope.

Hardcore Pawn

A little over a year ago I got into the show Pawn Stars on the History Channel. I even went so far as to break down their negotiation tactics into 5 easy steps (blog post on that maybe to come in the future).

This show has caught my attention recently. Pawn Stars is a show about old items being pawned. Hardcore Pawn is a show about weird people who pawn stuff. If you want to learn about antiques watch Pawn Stars. If you want to watch a ghetto gangster wannabe get shoved out of a store or a hysterical wailing baby mamma scream about how she has to have $800 for her PS3 to get her man out of jail...this is your show.

Rating: I watch it when I'm really bored or home for lunch.

Breaking Bad

Best show ever? Probably.

A great reminder that we are all just one cancer diagnosis and meth lab away from becoming an evil drug lord.

Hell on Wheels

I tried SO HARD to like this show. And I can't. Watched season 1 and half of season 2 and I'm done.

Rating: it-makes-me-feel-weird-inside-like-when-I-eat-too-much-cheese-and-I'm-all-blahhhhhh

What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast

This is an entire book (albeit a short one) that can be summed up in three words:

WAKE UP EARLY

Seriously...

That's it...

I'm not joking...

Ok, wake up early and do the most important things you need done that day before everyone else (unsuccessful losers) wakes up.

There, just saved you having to read a book.

Brave

If I ever have a red-headed step child I will buy this movie for them to watch. Otherwise I will leave this one to the daughters who have mommy-issues to love.

Rating: watchable, maybe should have waited for the dollar-movie

Moonrise Kingdom

I rate this movie "pay-full-price-able-even-if-you're-in-NYC-and-full-price-is-$20"

Mad Men

This show gets away with a lot because of the cool retro setting.

The read debate for me is whether the show is better than Breaking Bad or not. I feel much less stress watching MM, which makes it more "enjoyable" but how can I put this show above BB when I am excited/nervous/scared/anxious to watch Walt implode week by week.

Dark Knight Rises

In one sentence: Second best movie in the series.

Everyone who would read this has already seen this movie.

Can I just say I never really liked Bane's voice?

Keds and Socks

If I were King of the world this would earn you 3 weeks in jail or a $1000 fine.